Tag Archives: political humor

The Presidential Debate: Final Round. FIGHT!

I refuse to give a fuck about Joe the Plumber just because he made his fortune in a job where he shows his asscrack. If Joe made his money showing his asscrack in gay porn, this would have been a very different debate. It would have been entertaining. [read more at link] Continue reading

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The Presidental Debate: Lies, Damned Lies and Reacharounds

Originally I was gonna skip the third debate next week, but now that I understand the depths of McCain’s desperation, I am totally going to be tuning in. I’m placing the official American Jerk line at 3 to 2 that McCain’s opening statement will be that, if elected President, he promises not to come in your mouth. [read more at link] Continue reading

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This Vice Presidential Debate is Now About Ponies

Why, oh why God, do these terrible political events keep happening to me? I am tired of waking up with stabbing occipital headaches, ashtray mouth and vague unsettling memories of being serially lied to. Individually, these are all feelings that I’m comfortable with, but the combination usually means something very specific, and it ain’t politics. If I’m going to feel like this, I should be able to make the American political system sleep in the wet spot and tell it to get the fuck out in the morning. [read more at link] Continue reading

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Sarah Palin Vice Presidential Debate Bingo

While we at The American Jerk would normally propose a drinking game with which to while away the occasion… our crack legal team advises us that it would be irresponsible to advise any reader to drink 4,228 shots of anything… Thankfully, the kind folks at our wholly-owned subsidiary, American Jerk Amusement Companyâ„¢, have rush produced a Bingo game you can use to play along with the debate, thus relieving you of a crippling hangover and us of irritating legal liability. [read more at link] Continue reading

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Posted in Assorted Humor, Satire and Libel, Dirty Pictures | Tagged , , | 8 Comments

When I Left You, I Was But A Learner

But that was yesterday. Today, Joe Blow’s 401K looks less like a retirement fund and more like a lifetime supply of Chinese milk powder and HD-DVDs, so now he’s angry and scared… only now, it’s at the Republicans who tanked the deal, shitty as it was. And when you protest that it was because Nancy Pelosi called you mean things, Joe will hurl words at you that not only would make a merchant marine submissively piddle, but which also might summon Ba’al. [read more at link] Continue reading

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