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Beware The Ides of March
Which entailed popping plastic connecters off with a flathead screwdriver and yanking the wires. “Don’t worry about those connecters,” I told my girl, “Even if they’re sheared off, the wires’ll connect back snugly when I put this back together.”
“I believe you. You don’t have to convince me that you know what you’re doing,” she said.
“It isn’t you I’m trying to convince.”[read more at link] Continue reading
Face Dances, Track Five
Fine. Tell you what: I’ll BUY your fucking house, drooler. Looking at this fucking sty, I’ll probably have to burn it for the insurance and sell the filthy dirt it sits on at a loss, but if it keeps you from fucking up MY shit, it’s a small price to pay.
“But…†the retard said past a quivering lower lip, “Where are we gonna go?â€
I’ll tell you what: you can go FUCK yourself. How’s that sound? [read more at link] Continue reading
When I Left You, I Was But A Learner
But that was yesterday. Today, Joe Blow’s 401K looks less like a retirement fund and more like a lifetime supply of Chinese milk powder and HD-DVDs, so now he’s angry and scared… only now, it’s at the Republicans who tanked the deal, shitty as it was. And when you protest that it was because Nancy Pelosi called you mean things, Joe will hurl words at you that not only would make a merchant marine submissively piddle, but which also might summon Ba’al. [read more at link] Continue reading
Posted in Editorial, Foul-Mouthed Demagoguery
Tagged political humor, Wall Street bailout
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Looney Tunes
(TITLE CARD) DAMSEL: My hero!
(TITLE CARD) COWBOY: T’weren’t nothing, ma’am. The landlord got himself a mite overextended from buying too many slums. When housing prices dropped, he couldn’t rent apartments at a high enough price to cover his loans, and he couldn’t sell the buildings off at a profit. He was mighty close to going under, so I fronted him the money to get back on his feet, no questions asked! And hopefully he’ll remember who his friends are when I need donations to cover my run for mayor! [read more at link] Continue reading
And Lo, After Three Days They Rolled The Rock Back With a Mighty Crash…
And God knows it was a week that I should have been writing; there’s a potential 700 billion dollar Wall Street bailout that I could have been making fun of, except for the minor detail that I don’t in any way understand it. To the best I can figure out, it’s like an old, crusty white guy whose spent every day for eight years taking a running start and kicking you in the balls, and then presenting you with a bill to repair his arthritic knee. [read more at link] Continue reading