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Official disclaimer: We swear before Your Vengeful God and His pal Jesus that, not only does nobody we know give a damn about your name or email address, but we will not provide that address to any third party unless we get subpoenaed by an actual judge or something.

However, be advised that we reserve the right to publish any and all messages sent using the above contact form in part or it’s entirety if we think making fun of you would be funny. Under those circumstances, your email address will be kept private upon request.