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Category Archives: General Jabbering
Mea Culpa
“This Goddamned thing’s been malfunctioning for six months, you lazy bastard! That’s 180 days of being one flush away from having our second floor declared an EPA Superfund site! I don’t care if your sinuses are filled with the semen of Satan himself, you either fix this fucking thing or buy me a Goddamned litter box!” [read more at link] Continue reading
The Comedian Is Dead, or: I Can Has Dignitee, Kthx?
What? Quit looking so Goddamned shocked and betrayed. Everybody has something. David Berkowitz loved dogs, Charlie Manson was sweet on The Beatles, and I get a kick out of pictures of cats speaking broken English. The only difference is that when they tell me to do things, I rarely listen. Hardly ever. [read more at link] Continue reading
Posted in Foul-Mouthed Demagoguery, General Jabbering
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Reciprocity
Don’t get me wrong, I try to be a good boyfriend when my girl’s sick, but I’m not a nurturer; I’m a problem solver. A problem solver with a drinking problem. Which is a weird internal recursion that rarely leads to warm and fuzzy results. [read more at link] Continue reading
Insert Witty Pun About Balls Here
Of course, there was also one significant con [to attending an inaugural ball]: Everything I do every day between 6 p.m. and 6 a.m. becomes a class 3 felony if you do it with 100 yards of the President of the United States. [read more at link]
Dear Marvel Comics
However, in a comic book, a double-page spread ad means a complete break in the story. It sucks you completely out of the experience while you turn a second page to get back to the story. It’s like the film breaking at a movie, or an Emergency Alert System test in the middle of a TV show, or your sex partner asking you to hold up for a minute while she changes out her colostomy bag. [read more at link] Continue reading