Well, it’s gonna be a while before this shitty little rag looks or works like anything more than an out-of-the-box blog run by a rank amateur with no plan or clue whatsoever… Fuck you; I was being ironic.
As you can tell by all the links that I’ve been too lazy, drunk or distracted by pornography to figure out how to remove, this site’s being powered by a software package called WordPress. And while I can’t say enough good things about WordPress – it’s free and I got it installed and working (Granted, in this ass-ugly rudimentary fashion, but working) inside of twenty minutes – I’m beginning to have an issue with the people who develop plug-ins for WordPress. Nothing serious; I’m sure everything can be resolved by repeatedly stabbing one or more of them in the balls.
If you’re not familiar with the ins and outs of blogging technology, I envy you your obvious social life and friends. Be that as it may, I have recently learned a “plug-in” is a specialized program, usually written by a hobbyist that, when you install it on your server and activate it, makes your Web site crash.
Specifically, I’ve been trying to install a plug-in that puts one of those “captcha” anti-spam things on the comments page. “Captcha” is the technical term for those little graphics with the series of random numbers and letters that you have to repeat to prove that you’re not a robot. Ironically, repeating a random series of numbers and letters is how I always thought you proved that someone is a robot, but maybe that’s why it never seems to work. Not even at gunpoint. Anyway.
There are seven different plug-ins, each of which is supposed to accomplish this feat. None of them worked. One of them was clearly nothing more than a clever ruse to make me question my sanity by insisting that I was unable to remember four letters for long enough to copy them into a box seven pixels away. One furthered the boundaries of accepted computer science by apparently attempting to communicate the letters via mental telepathy instead of readable text. One of them was an Unholy Word that eliminated comment spam by eliminating the comments section of the article. And the article. And the part of the database that prevents the Web server from soiling itself like an infant.
So yeah: since I foolishly forgot that “plug-in” could also refer to the installation instructions for a catheter, a second sidebar and our nifty cigarette pack logo’s gonna be some time in coming. Sorry.
Hey; check it out: it only took me three days to begin blogging about blogging. Once I master the blink tag, I can export this pig to MySpace and begin trolling for Mall Goth Chicks.
