The American Jerk Month in Pictures

By Paul Marino

Dressed like that, she's gotta have crabs...

September 3, Atlantic City, NJ: Miss New Hampshire Smells Like Tuna, Tastes Like Chicken!

Big new penis, same small geek.

September 4, Silicon Valley, CA: Microsoft CEO Bill Gates and Wife Melinda Glow Following Gates' Penis-enlargement Surgery and "Test-drive."

"I'd use my crown to give the world a piece...I mean, give the world peace."

September 6, Atlantic City, NJ: Miss Nevada Tells Miss America Judges She "Hopes to Be a Hooker"

"Kids, let me tell you a story... A story about how much I secretly hated Nancy Reagan..."

September 10, Grand Rapids, MI: Bush to Schoolkids: "Does Anyone Know Where I Can Score Some Crack In This Burg? Yes, You Leroy..."

They also asked for Viagra, but, well, you don't want to see that building...

September 15, Ft. Worth, TX: Aliens Take Over Office Buildings, Demand Prozac

And the new spokesman for Depends Undergarments is....

September 19, New York: Andre Agassi Battles Through "Bladder Problem," Wins U.S. Open

Only minutes later, the Vice-President actually bored Mbeki to death.

September 24, Washington, DC: South African President Mbeki Tells Al Gore "The One About the Two Honkies That Walk Into A Bar...."

Main Archive Table of Contents

October, 1999 Issue Table of Contents

It's Sick...   How to Write a Humor Column...   It's Like, You Suck...

Month in Pictures   Kiddie Korner

Are You Presidential Material?   White Trash NASDAQ   Rate The Candidates

The American Jerk™ and all contents © 1999 - 2002 by Rob Reuter and Paul Marino, © 2003 by Rob Reuter. This Website is not in any way affiliated with WBCN-FM or Infinity Broadcasting, Inc.