Tag Archives: Kevin Smith

“To hell with that,” I said. “Kevin Smith’s burned me for the past two years. He’s always late if he bothers to show up at all, and I’m too addicted to nicotine to piss away my life waiting for Jersey Hollywood to forklift himself away from the buffet for long enough to grace us with his presence.” [read more at link] Continue reading →

This year, for the first time, Saturday tickets for Comic-Con sold out weeks ahead of time, which means that 125,000 geeks have planned ahead to be here. Granted, I am one of those geeks, but if last year was any indication, I will be one of the few who’s forward planning includes a shower. The main convention floor will be more clogged than Dick Cheney’s arteries, but with even more exposed, disgusting fat globules. Only these globules will be filling my brain with jiggling visions of ill-advised bare-midriffed Huntress costumes instead of the sweet release of a massive aneurism… [read more at link] Continue reading →

For a sexually liberated people, I expected a better reaction to my simple entreaties of, “I noticed you have a fur fetish. I, personally, have a fetish for cornholing the still-twitching bodies of abnormally-large dead animals. Can I buy you a drink? Wait, first – do you know what Ketamine tastes like?”… [read more at link] Continue reading →