EDITOR’S NOTE: When it comes to humor on the Internet, the real money’s in Web comics. Penny Arcade makes enough money to put Nintento DS’s in the hands of what seems like every underprivileged youth in the country, teaching them useful skills like dressing like bi-curious furries. PVP Online nets Scott Kurtz enough to keep him in Haagan Dazs and, eventually, insulin. And even old comedy buddies are chucking the stage to do Web comics, and doing well enough to travel the comic convention circuit and avail himself of those sweet, sweet bi-curious furries.
I’ve often longed to chuck the drudgery of actual humor writing and settle down to a three-panel Web comic, stopped only by my obvious love of the English language and my complete inability to draw. Which hasn’t stopped some people, who shamelessly stole my idea for producing comic strips in those fashions while I was busy drinking, writing thousand word missives on misbehaving televisions, and figuring out how many times in one piece I could use the punchline “Bi-curious Furries” before it looked like I was too lazy to come up with a new gag.
Thankfully, the Internet, in much the same fashion as it has provided a reasonable replacement for women, has also provided a replacement for the aspiring Web cartoonist’s ability to draw: Pixton, which allows the user to string together predefined cartoon characters, backgrounds and animal sidekicks into instant Web comics. It is a tool that allows you to instantly achieve your dreams without hard work, like armed robbery, or the last name “Kennedy”.
The creators say that the intent is to provide the ability to use comics to educate, and far be it from me to violate the terms of service on a Web site to which I have given a fake name and email address. Therefore, I have created a comic strip which is geared toward children, provided those children have Benjamin Button disease and a history of traumatic brain injury.
Therefore, please enjoy the first installment of my dream Web comic project: The Madcap Jackanapery of Whiskey S. McLibel, Episode 1: “S Is For Sex Offender.”
Please tune in soon for: Episode 2: “Dick Jokes Are The Lowest Form of Humor”.