“Do you want to try to see Kevin Smith on a panel this year?” my girl asked this morning. “He’s doing a Q & A again, and it looks like he’s hosting the Battlestar Galactica panel later.”
“To hell with that,” I said. “That fucker’s burned me for the past two years. He’s always late if he bothers to show up at all, and I’m too addicted to nicotine to piss away my life waiting for Jersey Hollywood to forklift himself away from the buffet for long enough to grace us with his presence.”
My girl said, “Buffet? you ever hear that thing about glass houses?”
“Go to hell. That’s the last time I let you have the camera near Jabba props. Back to the point: let’s not forget that this is a comic convention. The Hollywood shit is nice, but this has gotten so big because people jam into the movie panels and skip the actual comic panels! Let’s let the rubes line up for six hours for the Afro Samurai panel to hear Sam Jackson talk about motherfucking snakes in his motherfucking withdrawal symptoms while we slide right into the DC Nation panel and hear some actual comic book news.”
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We were about 20 minutes into the DC Comics panel when DC Editor in Chief Dan Didio stopped the current argument between Geoff Johns and a dude in a spectacularly bad Orion God of War Costume (Note to costumers: When your War Engine Backpack is obviously logoed by Eddie Bauer, rethink your design) to announce the latest Batman limited series. The author?
Kevin Fucking Smith.
“Jesus God,” I whispered to my girl, “He read what I wrote about him for the past couple of years, and he’s out for revenge. He’s clearly stalking me. Get a Red Shirt!”
“For fuck’s sake,” my girl hissed, “He’s Kevin Smith. He’s not stalking you. He doesn’t care if you live or die. And if you don’t have a piece of nicotine gum and calm down, neither will I.”
“So, I’ve been going to some of the other panels,” Smith said, “And every damn movie panel is in the major rooms. And I come to the first DC Comics panel of the convention, and we’re jammed into the smallest fucking room in the center!
“This is the fucking Comic Con, is it not? This place is packed, and yet when I ask someone on the floor, ‘What are you reading,’ they say, ‘What? What are you talking about?'”
It’s amazing how three minutes with the right words can make you fall in love again, ain’t it? You’d think I’d know that, considering it’s the only way I’ve ever gotten laid.
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The photo dump of today’s picture will start now. Click the American Jerk Photo Dump link in the sidebar to your right.
[tags]San Diego Comic Con 2008, Nerd Prom, Kevin Smith[/tags]
You lie! I click link, but get no picture!
I’m telling Kevin Smith!
Yeah, it turns out that it’s not as simple as just uploading them. I’m finalizing the upload now.